By Andy Lindberg
Day one of round two of the NCAA College Basketball Championship Tournament began on Saturday with much fanfare and hullabaloo. When was the last time you saw someone use the word hullabaloo? Probably the last time you saw Pittsburgh play as expected in the NCAA tournament.
Also, doesn’t “round one” or “round two” remind you of Mortal Kombat? I just picture #12 Richmond as Sub Zero kicking the butt of Vandy (Reptile) and Morehead State (the oft maligned Johnny Cage). Sorry for the side note, but if you’re like me, the same old same old gets boring very quickly. I’ll try to make this re-cap as painless and as inappropriate as possible.
I’m going to get the game of the day and the upset of the day over with in one fell swoop. 8th seeded Butler beat #1 Pittsburgh in the single most bizarre final seconds I have ever witnessed in a college basketball game. All right, fair is fair, it was the crappiest basketball I’ve ever watched. Butler’s Shelvin Mack shouldn’t have been anywhere near Pitt’s Gilbert Brown with 2.2 left on the clock. Brown was streaking down the sideline and the shot would have been damn near impossible to sink at that speed and from that angle. Then, Brown missed the second of two free throws with the score tied at 70, and Butler’s Matt Howard snagged the rebound and alertly threw up a prayer in hopes of drawing a foul.
Yes, he drew the foul. Apparently Pitt’s Nassir Robinson thought it would be a good idea to try to block the shot. A shot, which was thrown up with one hand from the opposite end of the court. In short, it proved to be a poor life decision and Howard won the game at the free throw line.
I feel bad for Robinson, to be honest. Just as I felt bad for Mack for the first foul and Brown for missing the free throw that would have won it for Pitt. But just because there’s no crying in baseball doesn’t mean there’s no crying in basketball. Weep away, thy bracket-busted brethren.
All right, what else do I have to do? Oh, stat of the day. Well, I’m not going to do that because honestly, the most important stat is the score at the end of the game.
Nah I’m just kidding and that didn’t even make any sense. The score isn’t an individual statistic.
Unless you score all of the points for your team, then it is an individual statistic.
I’ll go with Jimmer Fredette from BYU having 34 points against Gonzaga and there’s still 2 minutes left in the game. That’s right, I just did the stat of the day and the game isn’t even over yet. Do you know that that means? Jimmer’s stats could actually be higher by the time you read this. Or, they could not. The anticipation of viewing the box score should be killing you at this point.
Truth be told, I just picked Fredette because I fricking love his name. Jimmer. There’s no much you can do with that. The Jimmer Man, a Jimmering candle, winner, winner, chicken Jimmer. The possibilities are as endless as they are annoying. This is a rare honor from me to the Jimmer. See, every year I pick out who I hate more between Duke and UNC (I hate both passionately) by whichever team has the large, dingy white dude rolling around like a stud. A few years ago I hated UNC more because of Tyler Hansbrough. Now I hate Duke because of Kyle Singler. Is that a logical reason to hate a team? Many would say no. I would say yes. Jimmer fits the profile! Why I do not house the ultimate disdain for him or BYU is unknown. Maybe one day I will learn to hate him as well. Only time will teach me how…
Looking ahead to Sunday (or today, for those of you who are reading this when it is published), shockingly, there will be more basketball! Who knew? Notable matchups will be 8 George Mason vs. 1 Ohio St., 5 Arizona vs. 4 Texas, 1 Duke vs. 8 Michigan, and 1 Road Runner vs. 16 Wile E. Coyote. Does Coyote have what it takes to finally put that effing bird on a platter with all the trimmings? Not if he still shops at ACME. Runner has the speed, and Coyote, although he tries, has yet to compensate. However tomorrow I predict a different outcome. Best matchup of the day, in my opinion, which should most assuredly not account for much at all if you knew my history of picking the NCAA tourney.
That all being said, I don’t tweet or have Facebook, so if you hate my daily recap, I invite you to comment on it! Odds are if you hate it you’re the type of person who thinks dunking is a better facet of the game than the 3-pointer and the home run trumps gunning a runner down at the plate. Or you’re a person who enjoys the serious recap of tournament play, in which case you stopped reading this very, very early on. If those first two points apply to you, you shouldn’t be reading a sports blog, much less reading one written by me in about 7 minutes whilst simultaneously frying up a chicken breast. Oh yeah, I type and cook.
Are you not entertained?