Watching "The LeBrons" and Taking Notes

By Matt Noonan

How exactly did LeBron James get his own cartoon show? Can someone assist me with this reasoning? Doesn’t it seem rather weird that James, who not only maybe one of the most hated athletes in America, now has his own cartoon, titled, “The LeBrons?”

I had some time to spare on Wednesday, so I decided to force myself to sit down and watch his cartoon and here are a few thoughts I have after watching two rather dull and boring episodes.

* First, why exactly is the show called, “The LeBrons?” Shouldn’t it be called, “The James’s” instead? Also, why exactly are there just four characters that interpret the modern day, LeBron James? How should viewers comprehend Kid, The Athlete, Business and Wise? Do all four of these characters actually resemble the modern day LeBron James?

* The introduction song is catchy, but similar to any cartoon theme song, it is not something one could listen to time after time. Besides, shouldn’t cartoon theme songs be less than 43-seconds? It just seems almost too long and plus, did P.Diddy allow the creators of “The LeBrons” to promote his headphones on this show or is that just an essential part of Kid’s outfit?

* The first episode, “Lion,” is the wackiest six minutes of YouTube. In fact, there are terrible singers who are more enjoyable to watch on the site, even those who attempt dangerous sports stunts could be considered more enthralling internet television, but the first episode was awful, that’s right, awful.

* While watching the first episode, all I could think about was James’s illustrious, “The Decision,” where he broke every heart in Cleveland and chose to go win a championship in South Beach, but the reason I kept thinking about this was when Business decides to go buy a lion. The reason for buying a lion is so that it would scare their neighbor, Ray Johnson’s pit bull, but again, what do I know? Does that even make sense or connect to what James did this past summer? Who knows, but give me some credit for trying to connect the dots.

* Another thing I picked up was that Business tried to act all smooth and cool when he told his neighbor to stop bothering Kid, but really, did he have to act all cool, swift and suave? Does LeBron actually act like that in person? Most likely, I’d say he does.

* Athlete was shooting hoops in the driveway and making his shots. Of course, he would make his shots in real life, right? Despite the fact that LeBron James may not be the greatest NBA sharp shooter from beyond the arc, Athlete though despises that theory and was able to complete the perfect, “swoosh” from the end of his driveway.

* Lion tried to scare the pit bull by saying, “How about I rip off your head and play ball with it.” Hmm… boy does that sound wrong on all levels. How many children cartoons have the so-called, “bad-guy” say things like that? I sure hope young children weren’t watching the first episode, but if they were, I am sure similar to myself; they felt this was rather overwhelming and hard to deal with too.

* Episode number two, “Stay on the court” began with LeBron telling his viewers, “You know there is nothing more important than staying true to who you are,” which yet again made me ponder the question, “did that ever cross your mind last summer, Mr. James?”

* Finally, yes finally, we got to see some actual cartoon basketball, but while Athlete walked away at the beginning of the episode, we got to see Kid and his rather unusual friends attempt various three-point shots, which were awful. Kid can shoot the ball, but his two friends, despite making their shots could not locate the back of the backboard any day. Although, I wonder what Athlete would say about Kid’s shooting?

* Similar to the first episode, Business is all about being smooth and suave, but when it comes to the women, he almost appears as if he is trying way too hard to impress them. Again, as LeBron James said, be true to yourself, but remember, Mr. James is not an actual role model or someone one should aspire to be and the same could be said about the character of Business.

* Toward the end of the episode, Kid makes a foolish mistake and decided to jump off a gigantic diving board that literally touches the clouds and once again, it was so anti-climactic and he ended up committing a rather painful belly-flop and well, that was pretty much the second episode.

So, what exactly did I learn from watching two episodes of “The LeBrons” is James is not creative. I sure hope he didn’t come up with the storyboard or episodes, but his two quick and painful episodes makes The Secret Life of the American Teenager seem like quality television.

James should not have a cartoon show and promote HP products too. How about Apple or Window’s, couldn’t we have chosen those instead, Mr. James? Who wants to take a bet that an I-pad shows up in episode three?

Both episodes are rather weird and quirky, so I’d totally not recommend anyone watch them, unless one has some free time. There are other awful television shows that center around sports and fitness, but let’s be truthful, this is not quality or exceptional online entertainment, but instead, something that is totally strange.

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