Noonan: An Ode to Randy Moss


By Matt Noonan 

Does this seem right, Randy Moss retiring?

Hmm… Again, I can’t seem to wrap my head around this, but then again, does anyone have an idea about why “the freak” decided to hang up his cleats for good?

If you have an answer, please speak now or forever hold your peace.

When news broke Monday about Moss’s retirement, I was stunned, especially after his agent, Joel Segal announced to the world that his client was in the best shape of his career. Although, I do wonder, did I miss something? He did state those exact words, right?

Randy Moss shocked the sports world on Monday, as he announced his retirement from the NFL, but really, should we expect him to return this season?

Segal, who was quoted in numerous media outlets about Moss’s decision to walk away from the NFL, uttered the following on Monday: “After weighing his options and contemplating offers, he’s decided to retire.”

OK, what exactly was Moss considering or pondering the past few weeks or months? Did he truly think that New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was going to call or text him?

Perhaps, Brett Favre was going to consider asking him if he’d like to play catch with him and his friends from high school?

Again, what exactly was Moss thinking these past few weeks? I’m not quite sure, but do have a hunch that he was hoping the Minnesota Vikings would contact him and say, “Hey, Randy, come back and play with our new quarterback, Donovan McNabb!” Yet, that didn’t happen.

Although, speaking of the Vikings, there was a rather interesting report on Monday from (Pioneer Press), as players and coaches expressed their true feelings toward Moss’s decision and yes, they were all rather kind and wonderful words. In fact, first-year head coach Leslie Frazier compared Moss to Michael Jordan, but that’s a little bizarre, right? I mean, hey, Jordan might indeed be the greatest athlete of all time, but that’s a debate for another day.

So, where does Moss go from here? Perhaps, he’ll join FOX Sports, CBS or ESPN? Maybe he’ll do some male modeling? Should he become the next great movie star? Might he consider writing a book like New York Jets head coach, Rex Ryan?

Hmm… once again, I ask that you keep your wild, strange and outrageous fantasies to yourself, OK?

Moss is certainly a legend. Seriously, the man finished his 13-year career with 954 receptions, 14,858 receiving yards and 153 touchdown catches, so I guess it’s an obvious that he’ll join the true legends and hero’s of the game in Canton, Ohio, (NFL Hall of Fame) right? Again, he’s a legend and one of the best receivers, but sadly, he’ll also be remembered as the guy who didn’t win the “big one.”

All right, enough rambling, it’s time to bring my Randy Moss rant to an end, so, I’ll go out with a bold prediction and state, he’ll be back this season and yes, there’s a little bit of Michael Strahanin him because seriously, he’s a 34-year-old man who doesn’t want to practice or commit himself to two-a-days, but instead, just the game of football.

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